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		<title>There I Fixed It</title>

		<meta name="description" content="An amalgamation of dumb ideas that actually turn out to be kind of great.">
		<meta name="author" content="David Banham and Sam Gentle">

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				<section>
					<h1>There I Fixed It</h1>
					<h3 class="inverted">Dumb hacks that end up being great</h3>
					<script>
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					<h2>Heads Up</h2>
					<p>
						This presentation uses a souped-up version of reveal.js
					</p>
					<p>
						Go here on your laptop, smartphone or tablet:
					</p>
					<img src="https://dl.dropbox.com/u/176051/120715180431.png">
					<p><a href="http://www.pinion.gg/sydjs/index.html">http://www.pinion.gg/sydjs/index.html</a></p>
					<p><a href="http://bit.ly/Nlf8Aw">http://bit.ly/Nlf8Aw</a></p>
				</section>

				<section>
					<section>
						<h2>Who the hell are you?</h2>
						<a href="http://www.pinion.gg" class="image">
							<img src="http://www.pinion.gg/images/pinion_green_horizontal.png">
						</a>
					</section>
					<section>
						<h2>What the hell is this?</h2>
						<img src="http://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/2012/2/24/2d633fb0-9205-46f2-9bc1-f508124308aa.jpg">
					</section>
					<section>
						<img src="http://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/2009/12/8/129047925338284784.jpg">
					</section>
				</section>
				
				<!-- Unql -->
				<section>
					<section>
						<h2>In the beginning.</h2>
						<p>
							There was SQL.
						</p>
						<p>
							And it was okay.
						</p>
					</section>
					<section>
						<h2>And then...</h2>
						<p>There was noSQL!</p>
						<p>And it scaled and it was all javascripty and all the hipsters loved it and everyone was happy.
					</section>
					<section>
						<h2>But then you want to actually use it</h2>
					</section>
					<section>
						<pre><code contenteditable style="font-size: 18px; margin-top: 20px;">
var request = http.request({
  host: 'couchdb.internet.com',
  path: '/awesomedb/_all_docs',
  auth: 'zer0c00l:God'
});
request.end();

var newrows = []
request.on('response', function (response) {
  response.on('data', function (data) {
    data.rows.forEach(function(row){
      row.value.walkThe = "dinosaur";
      newrows.push(row.value);
    });
  });
});
request.end();

var request = http.request({
  host:   'couchdb.internet.com',
  method: 'post'
  path:   '/awesomedb/_bulk_docs',
  auth:   'zer0c00l:God'
});

request.write(JSON.stringify({docs:newrows}));

request.end()
</code></pre>
					</section>
					<section>
						<img src="http://c1eatdrinkbettercom.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/files/2012/05/nope.jpg">
					</section>
					<section>
						<h2>unql-node</h2>
						<p>
							<a href="https://github.com/sgentle/unql-node">
								https://github.com/sgentle/unql-node
							</a>
						</p>
						<p>It's like SQL for NoSQL</p>
						<img src="http://geekspodcast.com/geekpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/yo_dawg-230x300.jpg">
					</section>
					<section>
						<h2>Deletin' stuff</h2>
						<pre><code contenteditable style="font-size: 18px; margin-top: 20px;">
> delete from checkins where username.match(/\d{4}$/) && timestamp > (new Date()).getTime()-1000*60*60*24*7
						</code></pre>
					</section>
					<section>
						<h2>Why don't we take all the data...</h2>
						<pre><code contenteditable style="font-size: 18px; margin-top: 20px;">
> create collection nag_old_users
> insert into nag_old_users select {username: username, email: email} from user where last_login < (new Date()).getTime()-1000*60*60*24*7
						</code></pre>
						<h2>And put it over here!</h2>
					</section>
					<section>
						<h2>Want to see my awesome LALR recursive descent parser?</h2>
						<img src="http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/ontinia/10827199/5144/original.jpg">
					</section>
					<section>
						<h2>Nope!</h2>
						<pre><code contenteditable style="font-size: 18px; margin-top: 20px;">
handle /delete from (\S+)(?: where (.*))?/, (db, expr, cb) ->
  query = "update #{db} set _deleted = true"
  query += " where #{expr}" if expr
  processExpr query, cb
						</code></pre>
					</section>
					<section>
						<h2>There I fixed it.</h2>
						<img src="http://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/2009/12/4/129043939908502110.jpg"</img>
					</section>
				</section>

				<section>
					<section>
						<h2>noDB</h2>
						<p>So you want to add some persistence to your simple web app.</p>
					</section>
					<section>
						<p>Okay so just require that each user have a couch installation.</p>
						<p>Or make redis a dependency. Probably include some build scripts or something to make it easier since it's the only thing in the app that needs to be compiled.</p>
						<img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/72/ER_Diagram_MMORPG.png/539px-ER_Diagram_MMORPG.png">
						<p>Maybe it would be easier to build SQLite?</p>
					</section>
					<section>
						<h2>Nope!</h2>
						<img src="https://dl.dropbox.com/u/176051/nopenopenope.jpeg">
					</section>
					<section>
						<h2>noDB</h2>
						<p>SQL < noSQL < noDB</p>
					</section>
					<section>
						<h2>Super simple</h2>
						<pre><code contenteditable style="font-size: 18px; margin-top: 20px;" class="javascript">
var users = JSON.parse(fs.readFileSync('data/users.json'))

users.push({name: "newguy"});
fs.writeFileSync('data/users.json', JSON.stringify(users));
res.send('success');
						</code></pre>
					</section>
					<section>
						<h2>Session storage too!</h2>
						<pre><code contenteditable style="font-size: 18px; margin-top: 20px;" class="javascript">
var store = new express.session.MemoryStore;
store.sessions = JSON.parse(fs.readFileSync('data/sessions.json'));

setInterval(function(){
  fs.writeFileSync('data/sessions.json', JSON.stringify(store.sessions));
}, 2000);
						</code></pre>
					</section>
					<section>
						<h2>It's basically Redis</h2>
						<small>It's not really</small>
					</section>
					<section>
						<h2>But it is:</h2>
						<ul>
							<li>Deployable</li>
							<li>Dependency free</li>
							<li>Easily backed up</li>
							<li>Debuggable</li>
						</ul>
					</section>
					<section>
						<h2>Databases: Fixed</h2>
						<img src="http://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/2009/12/20/129058269966385911.jpg">
					</section>
				</section>

				<section>
					<section>
						<h2>I would like to make some information available on the internet.</h2>
					</section>
					<section>
						<h2>So find a shared hosting provider or something.</h2>
						<p>But they're kind of crappy</p>
					</section>
					<section>
						<h2>So I'll just run my own</h2>
						<p>On nginx or express or something!</p>
						<p>But load balancing and updates and bugs and oh no.</p>
					</section>
					<section>
						<h2>Oh I know!</h2>
						<img src="http://s2.wp.com/wp-content/themes/h4/i/logo-v-rgb.png?m=1308937729g">
					</section>
					<section>
					<img src="https://dl.dropbox.com/u/176051/spidernope.jpeg">
					</section>
					<section>
						<blockquote>
							Augh. I wish I could just shove all this right on Akamai
						</blockquote>
					</section>
					<section>
						<p>...</p>
					</section>
					<section>
						<p>...</p>
					</section>
					<section>
						<p>...</p>
					</section>
					<section>
						<p>Why not?</p>
					</section>
					<section>
						<h2>Step 0: Generate static site</h2>
						<p>Use whatever you want. We really like <a href="http://jade-lang.com/">Jade.</a></p>
					</section>
					<section>
						<pre><code contenteditable style="font-size: 18px; margin-top: 20px;" class="jade">
!!! 5
include includes/head.jade
body
  include includes/header.jade
  // BEGIN Content 
  .inner-bg
  #content-wrapper
    Welcome to zombocom!
						</code></pre>
					</section>
					<section>
						<h2>make</h2>
						<pre><code contenteditable style="font-size: 18px; margin-top: 20px;">
JADE = $(shell find pages/*.jade)
HTML = $(JADE:.jade=.html)

all: $(HTML)

%.html: %.jade
      ./jade/bin/jade < $< --path $< > $@

clean:
      rm -f $(HTML)

.PHONY: clean
						</code></pre>

					</section>

					<section>
						<h2>Rackspace == Akamai</h2>
						<p>It's cheap. 18c per GB</p>
						<p>You don't have to deal directly with Akamai. Keep your soul!</p>
						<p><a href="http://www.rackspace.com/cloud/public/files/">http://www.rackspace.com/cloud/public/files/</a></p>
					</section>
					
					<section>
						<h2>Getting it there</h2>
						<p>There's a node library for that.</p>
						<p><a href="https://github.com/nodejitsu/node-cloudfiles">https://github.com/nodejitsu/node-cloudfiles</a></p>
					</section>

					<section>
						<p>There's also some tooling for that.</p>
						<p><a href="https://github.com/PinionTech/cloud-loader">https://github.com/PinionTech/cloud-loader</a></p>
						<pre><code contenteditable style="font-size: 18px; margin-top: 20px;">
coffee cloud-loader.coffee -x localDir cloudContainer
						</code></pre>
					</section>

					<section>
						<h2>Deep magic</h2>
						<pre><code contenteditable style="font-size: 18px; margin-top: 20px;">
curl -i -X GET -H "X-Auth-User: pinion" -H "X-Auth-Key: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX" "https://auth.api.rackspacecloud.com/v1.0"

curl -X POST -H "X-Container-Meta-Web-Index: index.html" -H "X-Auth-Token: XXXXXXXX-XXXX-XXXX-XXXX-XXXXXXXXXXXX" "https://storage101.dfw1.clouddrive.com/v1/MossoCloudFS_ad499859-aaed-43c6-813b-5e1c545f85cf/pinion-www
						</code></pre>
					</section>

					<section>
						<h2>Relax</h2>
						<p>Never ever care about whether your website is up.</p>
						<p>Go do something useful instead.</p>
						<br />
						<p>Yeah, it's harder to do pretty URLs.</p>
					</section>
					<section>
						<h2>So fixed</h2>
						<img src="http://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/2009/12/19/129057249545630776.jpg">
					</section>
				</section>
				<section>
					<section>
						<h2>It's not always the right thing to just fix it</h2>
					</section>
					<section>
						<h2>But sometimes it is</h2>
						<img src="http://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/2009/12/22/129060139339845620.jpg">
					</section>
				</section>
				
				<section>
					<h1>ALL FIXED</h1>
					<h3 class="inverted">BY David Banham and Sam Gentle</h3>
					<img src="http://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/2009/12/22/129059992995261245.jpg">
				</section>
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