<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<entries>
  <entry term="DANCE" part="v.i.">
    <definition>
      To leap about to the sound of tittering music,
      preferably with arms about your neighbor's wife or
      daughter.  There are many kinds of dances, but all
      those requiring the participation of the two sexes have
      two characteristics in common: they are conspicuously
      innocent, and warmly loved by the vicious.
    </definition>
  </entry>
  <entry term="DAY" part="n.">
    <definition>
      A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.  This
      period is divided into two parts, the day proper and
      the night, or day improper <![CDATA[&mdash;]]> the
      former devoted to sins of business, the latter
      consecrated to the other sort.  These two kinds of
      social activity overlap.
    </definition>
  </entry>
  <entry term="DEBT" part="n.">
    <definition>
      An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the
      slave-driver.
    </definition>
    <quote author="Barlow S. Vode">
      <line>As, pent in an aquarium, the troutlet</line>
      <line>Swims round and round his tank to find an
        outlet,</line>
      <line>Pressing his nose against the glass that holds
        him,</line>
      <line>Nor ever sees the prison that enfolds him;</line>
      <line>So the poor debtor, seeing naught around him,
        </line>
      <line>Yet feels the narrow limits that impound him,
        </line>
      <line>Grieves at his debt and studies to evade it,
        </line>
      <line>And finds at last he might as well have paid it.
        </line>
    </quote>
  </entry>
  <entry term="DEFAME" part="v.t.">
    <definition>
      To lie about another.  To tell the truth about another.
    </definition>
  </entry>
  <entry term="DEFENCELESS" part="adj.">
    <definition>
      Unable to attack.
    </definition>
  </entry>
  <entry term="DELIBERATION" part="n.">
    <definition>
      The act of examining one's bread to determine which
      side it is buttered on.
    </definition>
  </entry>
  <entry term="DELUSION" part="n.">
    <definition>
      The father of a most respectable family, comprising
      Enthusiasm, Affection, Self-denial, Faith, Hope,
      Charity and many other goodly sons and daughters.
    </definition>
    <quote author="Mumfrey Mappel">
      <line>All hail, Delusion!  Were it not for thee</line>
      <line>The world turned topsy-turvy we should see;
        </line>
      <line>For Vice, respectable with cleanly fancies,
        </line>
      <line>Would fly abandoned Virtue's gross advances.
        </line>
    </quote>
  </entry>
  <entry term="DENTIST" part="n.">
    <definition>
      A prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth,
      pulls coins out of your pocket.
    </definition>
  </entry>
  <entry term="DIE" part="n.">
    <definition>
      The singular of "dice."  We seldom hear the word,
      because there is a prohibitory proverb, "Never say
      die."  At long intervals, however, some one says:  "The
      die is cast," which is not true, for it is cut.  The
      word is found in an immortal couplet by that eminent
      poet and domestic economist, Senator Depew:
    </definition>
    <quote>
      <line>A cube of cheese no larger than a die</line>
      <line>May bait the trap to catch a nibbling mie.</line>
    </quote>
  </entry>
  <entry term="DIPLOMACY" part="n.">
    <definition>
      The patriotic art of lying for one's country.
    </definition>
  </entry>
  <entry term="DISTANCE" part="n.">
    <definition>
      The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor
      to call theirs, and keep.
    </definition>
  </entry>
</entries>