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- <?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
- <entries>
- <entry term="DANCE" part="v.i.">
- <definition>
- To leap about to the sound of tittering music,
- preferably with arms about your neighbor's wife or
- daughter. There are many kinds of dances, but all
- those requiring the participation of the two sexes have
- two characteristics in common: they are conspicuously
- innocent, and warmly loved by the vicious.
- </definition>
- </entry>
- <entry term="DAY" part="n.">
- <definition>
- A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent. This
- period is divided into two parts, the day proper and
- the night, or day improper <![CDATA[—]]> the
- former devoted to sins of business, the latter
- consecrated to the other sort. These two kinds of
- social activity overlap.
- </definition>
- </entry>
- <entry term="DEBT" part="n.">
- <definition>
- An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the
- slave-driver.
- </definition>
- <quote author="Barlow S. Vode">
- <line>As, pent in an aquarium, the troutlet</line>
- <line>Swims round and round his tank to find an
- outlet,</line>
- <line>Pressing his nose against the glass that holds
- him,</line>
- <line>Nor ever sees the prison that enfolds him;</line>
- <line>So the poor debtor, seeing naught around him,
- </line>
- <line>Yet feels the narrow limits that impound him,
- </line>
- <line>Grieves at his debt and studies to evade it,
- </line>
- <line>And finds at last he might as well have paid it.
- </line>
- </quote>
- </entry>
- <entry term="DEFAME" part="v.t.">
- <definition>
- To lie about another. To tell the truth about another.
- </definition>
- </entry>
- <entry term="DEFENCELESS" part="adj.">
- <definition>
- Unable to attack.
- </definition>
- </entry>
- <entry term="DELIBERATION" part="n.">
- <definition>
- The act of examining one's bread to determine which
- side it is buttered on.
- </definition>
- </entry>
- <entry term="DELUSION" part="n.">
- <definition>
- The father of a most respectable family, comprising
- Enthusiasm, Affection, Self-denial, Faith, Hope,
- Charity and many other goodly sons and daughters.
- </definition>
- <quote author="Mumfrey Mappel">
- <line>All hail, Delusion! Were it not for thee</line>
- <line>The world turned topsy-turvy we should see;
- </line>
- <line>For Vice, respectable with cleanly fancies,
- </line>
- <line>Would fly abandoned Virtue's gross advances.
- </line>
- </quote>
- </entry>
- <entry term="DENTIST" part="n.">
- <definition>
- A prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth,
- pulls coins out of your pocket.
- </definition>
- </entry>
- <entry term="DIE" part="n.">
- <definition>
- The singular of "dice." We seldom hear the word,
- because there is a prohibitory proverb, "Never say
- die." At long intervals, however, some one says: "The
- die is cast," which is not true, for it is cut. The
- word is found in an immortal couplet by that eminent
- poet and domestic economist, Senator Depew:
- </definition>
- <quote>
- <line>A cube of cheese no larger than a die</line>
- <line>May bait the trap to catch a nibbling mie.</line>
- </quote>
- </entry>
- <entry term="DIPLOMACY" part="n.">
- <definition>
- The patriotic art of lying for one's country.
- </definition>
- </entry>
- <entry term="DISTANCE" part="n.">
- <definition>
- The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor
- to call theirs, and keep.
- </definition>
- </entry>
- </entries>
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